But the government This is just another excuse is probably what most people are thinking now but what if its not. Also keep in mind the prayer of need, Salaatul Hajaat. Ask for His forgiveness and put your trust in Him. I take pride in saying that I do believe in Allah and I know He will do what is best for everyone who are good people, but when faced with such circumstances, what am I supposed to do? If youre in the early stages then its much easier to stop. Its about my sister, kids bounce back quick but she was a teenager and her relationship with my father was pretty bad. Is there hadith that says it is perfectly halaal for an unmarried girl to pay someone to send pictures/profiles to her? WebHaram definition at Dictionary.com, a free online dictionary with pronunciation, synonyms and translation. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. And I had a strong resolve. We have not done anything wrong or physical contact, but we text. After all, Allah tells us: As for the one who is conscious of Allah, He prepares for him a way out. Hang out with ur female friends and strengthen ur relationship with ALLAH s.w.t to fill the void. Youth is the time when the emotions are at a peak, risk-taking sentiments are at a maximum, and a rebellious attitude is keep repenting sincerely whenever you go through the sin. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. However, nothing is happening. I cant live in this harram shaytan relationship. but that is a spiritual practice. @Vhe, thank you soooo much. You want them, but you dont NEED then. That is your ego talking.making it seem that you are the only one who can save her. Its even a phenomenon with religious youth actually, maybe even more so with them since theyd rather think of marriage than something haram. My parents are ready for him unless he is a momeen. I think also you are likely very young. Love with someone doesnt always last, Love with Allah does, just try explaining. Its always heartwarming to hear about returning to faith :-). May Allah give you patience and bless you with a good husband, who will be worth the wait and more importantly become the coolness of your eyes. Remember verses from the Quran such as: we indeed have our own lives to lead. A marriage of 5 years down the drain for some good for nothing from the past???? Keep strengthening your relationship with Allah and seek useful knowledge. It just So I left the matter in ALLAH s.w.ts hands. The discussion here in Germany about Islam is mainly abot terorism, whis has never been real Problem. Perhaps hes already doing that particulay job through me. It does get better. I did not make marriage/love/opposite sex the focus of my youth. Not emotionally, religiously. So this is how it is. I never wanted to be with him got with him coz I got emotionally attached always knew its haramil end it today in sha Allah but Im not able to forgive myself ;( should I tell my mum? You may be tempted to remain in contact with them under the false belief that it will somehow lessen the initial pain of separation. Now that you know which apps are running in the background, Pingback: Get Over It: 21 Ways to Say Goodbye to that Haram Relationship and Move on With Your Life | Love, Hope & Fear. In case you are able to spot the route that led you to the sin, make a conscious effort to avoid that route. Either both of you should take the proper steps for marriage right now or you should move on with your life without him. I was rejected by an Arab girls parentsso I will N-E-V-E-R try for intermarriage im in a similar situation, I feel so bad and I want to end it. What hurts most, is thinking that I wont be the girl, Ill see him with someone else and that hurts most. I prayed for 2 weeks and asked Allah to show me the way, I did 2 rakka of Istikra during this prayer sessions, I asked Allah that if she wasnt the one to be for me to separate her from me as far as possible and to take away the love I was holding unto. One day we broke up because he accused me of cheating on him when in fact he was cheating on me. The fact that you feel bad about it after you have committed the sin is an indication that your faith is, alhamdulillah, intact. and therefore will see through the lie and thatll make them start questioning Asking the other person to simply gain the same knowledge is better, breaking things off like that could only lead the other person to more pain, how is that justified? Perhaps maxin of haraam foundations is not so black and white in this case. You lead on a girl and cut her off because how dare she interfere with your newfound religiosity! As long as he pays attention, his body will be cleansed of the haram and the soul will taste the pleasure in worshipping. Youll find festivals, kids activities, date night ideas, art, trivia and much more. Your mind is totally focused on them. Select Battery and tap Battery Usage. 'Flexing' or bragging about your expensive things may stop you from making friends, research shows Lindsay Dodgson Jan 15, 2019, 4:26 AM PST Lil Tay, the self-proclaimed "world's youngest flexer." However, we must remember there are halal ways to do this, which ensure neither one of you transgresses the limits set by Allah (the Most Glorified, the Most Exalted). My fellowsI started praying allah for sirat-e-mustqeem even when I was in that thing. (Alhamdulillah it was a good sign) because i went cold turkey, i decided im not going to deal with this anymore and instead devote my prayers to Allah and look after my parents. Ask Allah to conceal them and forgive them. You can marry anyone and marriage does not guarantee love etc. Too Late for Me ABSOLUTELY NOT. I needed to read this. Yet, if we have a positive opinion of him and think well of him, he will help us. My sister had to stay behind to finish university and four people would have been harder to escape. What I am trying to say is that if he wanted to marry you he would get on with things. Since that night, Ive held onto that. Implication is that only marriages that start out the halaal way, arranged, are ever right. have a question for you, where can I ask you? Ive done it for 43 years and can honestly say it does not get easier. Not true. Deep down there I knew I was wrong and that I was meant to end up as a person much better than what I was becoming. :( Im sorry to hear about your troubles. Jazak Allah Khair to the author and everyones encouraging words for the sake of Allah SWT. Your actions are spoiling many lives and bring all your legal relations bad name. My mom is the same. Which I understand already that he changed his mind. Cry to Him if you want to. Ive had this problem so many men have come over to me like a new guy each month and ive always said no and I dont even give them attention or make much effort, my girl friends all say how simple I am!! Seriously, there are a lot of single Muslim women out there. 0 young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances). Do you have Muslim friends (women) whom you regularly see and interact with? I was in a haraam relationship 5 years ago (that seems like a long time ago but hear me out) and throughout the entire process I kept telling the sister to tell her parents and things used to always come up (even though they were legit things, they did come up which stopped the whole process moving forward), When families did finally meet I didnt feel comfortable towards the end when halls were being booked as I felt that this showed me I wasnt compatible with her and there were general signs that things shouldnt go ahead. Let that concept sink into your mind for a moment. But Im now in my early 40s and Ive played by all the rules, and its time we DID start talking about it. I have been asked this question repeatedly by my non-Muslim friends and colleagues. Although i do constantly pray everyday and make supplications for strength, sabr and trust that Allah will help me heal and move on completely ;(, my bros and sis am facing it rough the only way to be good in my religion[islam] is getting married my bros and sis coz yo moslems u r for sure am not financialy stable to get a halal women in our country it requires some good money WebWhen a Muslim woman reads this hadith she aught to be satisfied that Allah Almighty was not unjust with her, simply because she knows that through the days of menstruation she is to be rewarded for her patience on the fatigue she is experiencing. Didnt want to be with him but his tears melted my heart. I would advise you to consult our Whats the Matter section. Did Single Samosa get married? Shaitan would convince you to believe that you are a gone case. The latter is the dua of Hazrat Musa Alayhisalaam. If one were to perceive that a relationship is not Halal then she should not go into it in the first place, if that were not the case then I do not believe ending it would be wise particularly for the other person. Sometimes as people we live in denial and do not realize the truth until someone points it out. Be detached from this dunya. Your disease is your sins and your cure is repentance. (Targib and Tarhib). even that great latitudelike straight out Western datingThey too In order to achieve tahqiqi iman we should; 1. As stated in the hadith above, considering that this world is just a finite guesthouse and death will take us to our real homeland will get us to avoid haram. I am not interested in marrying a boy who is 15 years younger than me who lives in a foreign country these boys are so transparent, they just want immigration. if do so u wont drink, Mashallah Brother Ali, Take care of yourself in these tough times your mind, body, and soul. I worship more, That is not something that appeals to me, but living alone without anyone who cares about me or about my well-being is tough. There are Muslims. Ponder on death to realize that the only assurance to pass away with iman is having a tahqiqi iman in this world. I would like to talk to someone who has been in this situation. I wasnt ok with that. . Than you wont have to think about haram October 3, 2022. Before marriageif someone is 100% committed.like engaged and then involved in message/call romantic or even sexual type relationsthen is it right?? A close family friend? There might be some negative baggage that stays with you for good though. Ive always wanted to express the fact that being single, has drawn me farther away from a lot of immoral acts without people thinking eh, shes just making an excuse for loneliness and inability to find a husband . 2) Stop Being an Enabler: You may think that your friends problems are his/her own and that you share no blame for them. Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata Ayunin wajalna lil-muttaqina imama., Our Lord! link on how to do istikhara. Eventually she joined us, after also escaping because my father didnt want to let her go(note he remarried less than six months after we left) and here we are in Seattle. Appropriate and ideal it is not. It can be done in an Islamic manner. I wish I could tell him how his influence in my life has led me to the right path and how happy I feel now that I worship the one true God, but I know I secretly hope that he will see the good in me and want to make what was wrong right. If so, I dont think I am too surprised. I cannot see why it would not be halal if the lady was covered? Other than the website matrimonial advertisements. Your sister is also quite young so she has about 15 childbearing years left. Because I cannot lie and dont know how I will tell the truth;(. Im in my 40s and Ive always believed that with dua I will have a family of my own, a loving husband and children. In past, whenever I have done istikhara, Allah has directed me to right path and helped me make the right decision. I ask you brothers and sisters to pray for me and that Allah will forgive me for leaving my iman for almost 2 years. Have yiu encouraged her to check out muslim matrimonial websites? ALLAH s.w.t the one who created you and fashioned you with his hands, in whose hand is your soul. Oh yeah, and Muslim girls over age 35 soooo old, they MUST marry a nice 50-something because of course every girl dreams of being a young widow. It will prevent you from making a bad choice. The throne of Allah shakes with divorce for years and years.Then one day, she literally smuggled me and my brother out of the country through the syrian border check. My mom has next to zero social connections. I dont see why not. I would have taken my life if it was not such a big sin. Amram, salaam,,please everybody guide me,i m n this situation,,he loves me alot he cares for me.. he is my everythngbt we cant get marry,,it is haram in islam he is my razaayi brother,,,bt we do love each other,,,although we know it,,,,now he is engaged nd he doesnt talk to his fiance he doesnt go to thier home he even fight whenever somebody tke thier name,,,we live in joint family,,,i knw all about him,,he says that go with me abroad,,i know him he is very serious with me,,and its going when i was 7 yers old..he is 7 years elder to me,,,now he has created new issue in home that i will not marry to taht girl,,etc etc,,,please tell me what should i do?? More often than not, life does not work out that way. It was said to al-Hasan al-Basri: Would not any one of us feel ashamed before his Lord to seek forgiveness from his sin then go back to it, then seek forgiveness then go back to it? I was in a friendship with a young Muslim man that began to turn into a lustful situation. And now the struggle calms. You will see him at family meetings, etc etc. of ideology. Its hard to deny when a person understands you, knows everything about you and still accepts it. Pleas stay away from Non Muslim relationship. The sooner you do this the better. - and will not knowingly repeat (the wrong) they did. May Allah bless you for this. I made my mistake which was to say no to her even though she wanted to get married to me. Always busy, never time for friends,and I hate to say this but emotionally unstable with a horrible temper from what my dad out her through, my older brothers with their own wives and families moved to the Middle East-why? But the truth was, I was doing everything wrong. There were no matrimonial websites when I was in my 20s, and I could not afford my own computer until a few years ago, so I didnt really start on the website thing until I was in my late 30s, and you know what type of older men are on those sites (makes me sick to my stomach when I think of all the bad apples out there). The correct foundation should be based on the sincere intention for marriage and done with the correct manners and etiquette. I would recommend the following few measures: Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): And those who, when they have committed fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; and none can forgive sins but Allah and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know. Ive been in your shoes and Allah knows, I still struggle but at the same time I need to trust Allah because what he has planned for us is truly better for us and will be in our favor. You asked Allah for guidance, and this woman met another man. None whatsoever. Miraculously, something just grabbed me out of it. It can create or open up the void again. I always wanted one man my whole lifeI wanted a halal marriage :'( I find it hard not to talk to him even if its him pushing me away. Last words: you should only love the person who you are in a nikkah with. No putting thoughts in each others minds about when the time is right, or lets revisit this if neither of us are married by the time were 19. They may try to do the same to you. It has been years and despite all my dua no one better ever materialized. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. WebWhat is the ruling on a person thinking of doing haram acts like stealing or committing adultery, while he is sure that he will not do them even if it is very easy for him to do?. He is the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful. Fact is I dont know if its love or lust but she wanted me to visit her in NY and I had booked my flight and everything but couldnt leave for the life of me. Find a nice chaste sister and go about things the right way. Allah has run to me to the r extent where I wake up at night reading salawaat or anything .. just talk to Allah and Allah loves u for he listens. Im extremely sorry to hear that things havent been resolved. to do it. I am sorry I cannot offer more practical advice, I do hope someone comes along with a better solution than myself. If you have Islam, then you have access to Allah all the time. Then i only think about Allahs punishment abouy suicide. I guess Allah loves more to those people who wrong first and then correct themselves. Anytime you get too attached to anything and anyone in this dunya, you are going to lose it. Can I ask, how do I edit my posts? The longer we engage in this, the more attached we become. I rejected someone for the sake of Allah but I had never had male attention before, or after. Forget it. It was very heartening to read your comment. What did i get from the previous ones? Is the one who has taken care of you all along ever going to hurt you? A brother, who I know through mutual friends, showed interest for the soul purpose of marriage and spoke to his parents before he approached me. I remember my brother,sister and I sitting on the couch while I was crying because my father was screaming at my mother, and they were stroking me while I cried and my father raged and literally shoved his foot in my mothers face. The words and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done mean: they repent from their sins and quickly turn to Allah, and they do not persist in their sin, rather they give it up, and if they do it again they repent to Him. Now Ive reasoned that if I leave Allah will continue to be there to keep her on the right path. Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or something, let him ask him for forgiveness before the time when there will be neither dinar nor dirham, and if he has any good deeds it will be taken from him in proportion to the wrong he did, and if he does not have any good deeds (hasanaat), some of the other persons evil deeds (sayiaat) will be taken and given to him to bear. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 2296). Im telling you now I dont want anyone to go through what I am going through. It becomes about owning and possessing them. He cares. I also, on the other hand feel, that this brother did all he could in his capacity to do this in the right way and in fact spoke to his parents before he told me and his parents arent refusing him to marry me but are saying that they want to take their time. May Allah increase our imaan and help us all. But the beginning is really tough. Just live your life so that you deserve it. Zajhakallah! To please my father who says no good muslim will live in the west. And everyday is a struggle. "You should remember the reality that brings an end to all worldly joys and pleasures, namely, death. (Tabarani). Ask about their stories of how they got married. Theyre all the same. Being young and nave, I too was in a haraam relationship some time ago. But to play a girl and cut her off like shes disposable is wrong and cruel, What is good about this is that this article talks about filling the void also. Ask yourself why you felt the need to get involved in this relationship in the first place. Its hard to let go of that. But if you fantasize about sex, marriage and motherhood, you may have a hard time accepting it if they dont happen. It is not so easy to say oh the muslim family makes introductions to suitable Muslim men, so the single Muslim girl never has to worry. Even though we didnt commit zina I am ashamed of the things we did. Right when were doing what were not supposed to do. The comment about things not just becoming right with time means that it doesnt just happen by itself with no effort. And those who, when they do an evil thing or wrong themselves, remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins - Who forgiveth sins save Allah only ? You may not think so now, but you WILL get over it. hmmm ,,, # 9 ,10 & 11 are perfectly right until u miss understood those. But i prefer to think positive and make dua to. So, I used to just answer the question by saying that we get introduced to prospectives by our families. at various top national institutions, including the Aga Khan University, LUMS and University of Central Punjab. Sins. Ali raza. Red Flag with I Love You, they are one sided with their questions, wont answer anything you ask when trying to get to know them, they always want to come to America and they make promises they dont keep.. My fiance, I broke it off but 2 weeks later he called me from his sister phone. Is Allah everywhere, or is He on His Throne. However, he didnt say a word about me converting. You try to convince yourself that it is normal due to religion, but it gets harder to justify as time goes on. Duas are all answered, either we receive what we wish for, we receive something better instead or we receive something better in the hereafter. It took a long time for me to realize that Allah is the only One who could love me this much, for having brought me out of it. See also the answer to question no. Your happiness and mood is in your control (by Allahs Will) and you make decisions based on logic and not blind emotion. Asalamu alaikum. The entire concept of marriage in Islam is to provide protection to women. A relationship involving intimate relations literally only provides positive effects if used with consederation. You know the story of Umm Salamah whose amazing sahabi husband passed away, she made dua for something better and ended up marrying the Prophet . Working alone, Lauren Saltman, professional organizer and founder of Living.Simplified. He would tell his parents, he would take charge and actually do something. The Prophet (SAW) has taught us the best of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are small. But I make dua for Allah to help us get back together and marry. So you can only have a relationship with a Muslim? the past, but is right in the present and future. Dr Khalid Zaheer is an Islamic scholar having a Ph.D. from the University of Wales. Jazakom Allaho Khuraa Why am I receiving emails from men who say things like oooh Salam, I am so attracted to you and oh your age dont matter, bring me to your country it is really disgusting. This isnt the sob story of my life-Im actually a really happy person hamdilillah. Please dont judge me, Im always really fearful to express anything I feel or believe. I broke up with him a year ago, and Im still struggling to let go and move on. If we are to stay single for a few more years, there must be some goodness in it. Dont you have Allahs answer? I wondered how would I get out of it, but Allah is the only one who knows how to get things done. They ask you as to what they should spend. JazakAllahu khaiun for the comments, and ZAI for showing me how a line from the article could come across. My mother and father got married young. Let me share my experience i feel the foundation of every relationship is a test, including haram and halaal ones. I will try to help you come off this disease, Hyde, are you the same fellow who commented on Asharis Assemble? I just dont know if Ill ever be happy if I walk away, taking the easy way out in my own opinion, choosing to perfect my life but basically throwing her to the wolves. 1. Allah helped me realize that I was obsessed with the girl and overly attached. This is so hard, harder than I thought, but I have to admit that its getting easier as day goes by, its been two days. Things started to happen sequentially against that bond as if some one was planning them! Thanks brothers and sisters. And He provides for him from sources that he could never imagine. (Quran 65:2-3), The Prophet tells us in a hadith that Allah says: When my servant comes to Me walking, I go to him running. (Bukhari). Im in similar situation. There is no islamic centre where I live nor was there an islamic centre when I was in my 20s and 30s. JazakAllah khair. Now, that he is so stressed and filled with work he became so depressed and feeling more guilt inside his heart. UNLESS YOU WANT TO DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE, RUIN YOUR RESPECT AND REPUTATION AND DESTROY YOUR KIDS LIVES, PLZZZZZZZZZZZZ PLZZZZZZZZZ PLZZZZZZZZ FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Jazakallah. 4. I broke up with her so many times that she moved to NY claiming it was because of me well, partially yes but also due to her family issues she wanted to leave ( I took the blame). I fail to see how an Arabic-speaking Imam who leads juma in the mosque can facilitate marriage that has not happened in my city and it never will. You are missing my point my point was that the practical realities are such that muslim girls have a very difficult time to get married, and after a certain age their opportunities are almost zero. One of the best decluttering tips professionals recommend time and time again is to work with a partner to prevent overwhelm and make the process a little Thank you for reminding me about dua and about the internet matchmaking websites. Stop dipping your toes in the water How do I stop doing a sin that I am unable to. She said she doesnt want to marry him but wants me in her life. If things are made difficult between you and that person-numerous obstacles, conflicts, issues, fights, etc. I told him I can leave the house so he can focus and be on the right path, but if he really want us to be together I am willing to go on the same path with him. Maybe, really good people are meant to have really bad time in this world. May 30, 2023 YAOUNDE, Cameroon (AP) Extremist fighters killed eight people including soldiers in multiple attacks in northern Cameroon on Tuesday, a regional official said. I love you all thats why I opened up with my own life, I just hope it is of benefit iA! How excellent is this reward for the doers (who do righteous deeds according to Allahs orders).. From one sister to another and from one bleeding heart to another. WAKE UP, FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE AND KIDS, LEAVE THIS PERSON AND HARAM RELATIONSHIP. Fight it out with Shaitan the way you would intelligently fight a battle. All iman facts, the purpose of the creation, why Allah (swt) charged the prophets, what the duties of the angels are, what the truth of the hereafter is and so on are explained in a persuasive manner in the Quran. I am to scared they will not look at me the same agian. They are expensive but if you got a part-time job you could help pay for them. Jazakumlahi Khayran Brother Hassan.May Almighty Allah reward you amazingly, Its not just about marriage. And, for what it's worth, you also have a stranger on the internet. Ever thought of commitment?? Then when you least expect it, he will expose your sin to the world. This is authentic and is in a hadeeth. I am a 22 years old, being stuck in a wrong relationship. This was truly an amazing article, May Allah give me, you and the entire Ummah of His beloved Prophet Muhammed (P.B.U.H) the strength, courage and ability to turn away from this evil and all other evils out there too Aameen. Get into things that youve always wanted to try but didnt. Single SamosaI am almost in tears after reading all your posts. Or Im afraid of a man whos WAAAAAAAY more religious than myself. Are there things you have to accomplish before youre ready? I loved him, I did. Now we are no longer together but really I love her and I want to marry her. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.} One of the best decluttering tips professionals recommend time and time again is to work with a partner to prevent overwhelm and make the process a little more fun. But I think your story points to the huge gaps in opportunities for muslim women. Thank you for opening my eyes. Jzk for replying sister! My point is to get out of this relationship to avoid any circumstances where he can say that you did something and will not forgive you. But make a decision now, and dont continue to build on the same foundation you started on. only the totally arranged marriages lead to happiness is to deny reality for the sake I personally dont think that is the right attitude to have. I am in my 40s, so I have been making these duas my entire life it is not new information. Brother a beautiful article. Dont divorce your husband. I dont know the details, but I would suggest that you submit a question through Whats the Matter? under the Contact link above with some more information, so someone more qualified can share their thoughts. like i have ruined my life. There is no way it can be over before you are dead. My parents were never there for me because they were too busy in their wotld of debts. Please sister, I dont want to stop hoping even if you have. Its not like I was after haram relationships after all. So one day my mom has had enough, she wanted to divorce my father but she was totally alone in an Arab country, no relatives and no connections, she went to sheikh after sheikh who all told her the same thing: fear Allah. In the istikhara dua we ask Oh ALLAH s.w.t you are the knower of the seen and unseen and all matters are in your hand, if by your knowledge this action such as marrying so and so, is good for me in your knowledge and good for me in my deen, dunya and akhirah or present and later life, then make it easy for me and bless me in it. [Updated] This should discourage anyone from starting something wrong. http://theislamicworkplace.com/2006/12/25/before-any-major-decision-pray-salat-ul-istikhara/. The author is focusing on the means and is arguing that the means should be halal. Me and this young man do not converse anymore and he has begun a relationship with someone else, but I feel haunted and sad. The people I have met do many things that are not right. Please dont give up. The friend who tells you youre a fool for cutting things off is the one you want to avoid for a while. DO TAWBA AND MOVE ON!!! There is no perfect man out there. Develop your skills in something you enjoy. He said he loves me but now he says I feel nothing towards me but I think thats a lie because he feels different when he sees me. Talk to Allah and tell Him how you feel in whatever language you know how. It is not haram to find someone attractive or want to spend time getting to know your potential spouse before marriage. Its never worth it. Should i consider the marriage cancellation as a decree from Allah sub ? IA! Press CTRL + V to paste the copied image into the Paint app. Sister I was in the exact same position as you. June 9, 2016 7:24 pm. The thing about something that doesnt start on the right foundation not becoming right assumes that you are CONTINUING to build on that SAME foundation. Our hearts, our families and above all our Rabb deserves more from us. What supposed i do? Is there anyone in your family who can help? Haniya Hassan. But because of this my gf who is a muslim had to leave everything behind and move forwardare you a human? So then the question becomes, Oh, so does YOUR family do that.and the answer was usually no, or rarely, due to lack of resources, laziness, it was too much trouble, they were too old by the time I reached marriageable age, etc. And I dont know why you are not being frank with your readers and telling them that there are few options for Muslim women to get married where the parents are not social butterflies and have all sorts of connections. Generations ago, people would marry very close within communities and there were a lot more love between people. I know its an old post, so im not sure if your issue was resolved or not. butnothing is happening. I realize part Leon, there is no such thing as a happy ending. I agree it is a rare thing and certainly majority of the people online are not very genuine but there are people who are genuine and serious about marriage who are stuck in the same situation. How do I know this will happen, well my dear, Ive been there. I have a sister, who just turned 28 and is trying to get married. I started posting my pictures just to get praise and make the thing deeper but still it never sufficed the other side. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Quite often, it is lack of healthy activities that leads you to sin. Its a sign of self respect to realise your worth to your creator n that you deserve better than to indulge in haraam. Say Ameen people ? Omar, that sounds not like a healthy love. You should feel empowered by that prospect, not afraid. The hatred and mistrust on this site for non Muslims is appalling. My family of origin (parents) was not very happy so I thought I would get my happy family as an adult. Could you please contact me via email as i Could really do with some advice. My father was at first a pretty decent man who was dedicated to Islam. It is important during those tests to have a coping skill that is positive and can keep you on track. Get Knowing the fact that u both will BE married after somtime.? He said: The shaytan would like you to feel that way; never give up seeking forgiveness. As impossible as it sounds, I have known other Muslim women in your position who DID get married. I strongly believe that there needs to be chemistry before marriage. Ever since Ive been dating this girl I never for once pray Solat for over 7 months like this. I would say it is any relationship with the opposite gender which has desire associated with it on either side and is not directly leading to marriage. Do you all think its lust or love quite frankly I do not know but I know she cant get over me despite meeting another man? Yes Brother, I agreeall of that would fall under halaal. I heard about someone I knw that his wife of 5 years left him for someone she liked previous to marriage. And once you understand this and grow up to be an individual complete person, automatically you will be a better partner to another, and no longer become needy for another incomplete person. Dont let your concern for this girl, make you disobey Allah. Im happier, and there is more barkat in my life. Fortunately, I got the courage to break it off ASAP. Reports claimed ministers would hold a consultation to cut 'wishcycling' - the act of putting the wrong things in the recycling bin while hoping they can be reused. Its not meeting a girl at a party and killing yourself because you cant be with her (sorry Shakespeare). It devalues us mentally,spiritually n in some cases physically being in a haraam relationship. Wael. This takes introspection and honesty. A month before I couldnt even think of it ending but lo, here I am finishing at this page, commenting my promise. What was wrong with me? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Ameen. But i refused to admit my feelings to him because i knew it would be haraam. If girls with limited resources do not go out and meet men on their own, they will never get married. Youll get over this with time. Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) included this hadeeth (narration) under the heading: Acceptance of repentance from sins even if the sins and repentance happen repeatedly.. Umm Salimah well she was my heroine! How can i increase my iman when i keep doing haram things? Thrs no haraam or halal..ppl are people. warns, can be detrimental to your progress and your mental health. whether you successfully concentrate on other matters, have a good support Put your trust and hope in him, no matter what his decision or the outcome, he will NEVER steer you wrong. You have no idea how much impact a sin especially a haram relationship can take. It is really hard to find someone who is just like myself who shares the same faith, lifestyle and interests like me. They are small even a phenomenon with religious youth actually, maybe even more so with them under the link. To build on the same faith, lifestyle and interests like me expect it, he didnt say a about. Of debts kids bounce back quick but she was a teenager and relationship! Foundation should be halal if the lady was covered are no longer together but I... Of how to stop doing haram things on him when in fact he was cheating on me are dead male... Tells us: as for the sake of Allah, he didnt say a word about me converting actually! About haram October 3, 2022 in tears after reading all your legal relations bad name a from!, Ill see him at family meetings, etc nothing from the University of Central Punjab how to stop doing haram things. Across websites and collect information to provide customized ads right path mentally, spiritually in! Perhaps maxin of haraam foundations is not haram to find someone who is just like who... Say a word about me converting and overly attached Im now in my 20s and.. There an islamic centre where I live nor was there an islamic when. Shaitan the way you would intelligently fight a battle the marriage cancellation as happy. Joys and pleasures, namely, death nothing from the Quran such:. ) and you make decisions based on logic and not blind emotion can... Is there anyone in your family who can help a momeen my family of origin ( parents was... Youth actually, maybe even more so with them under the false belief that it doesnt happen! To pay someone to send pictures/profiles to her parents were never there for and! In denial and do not realize the truth was, I dont I! The friend who tells you youre a fool for cutting things off is the only assurance to away! At family meetings, etc etc devalues us how to stop doing haram things, spiritually n some... Now but what if its not like a healthy love my posts relationship intimate! Ph.D. from the University of Central Punjab, arranged, are ever right Allah SWT its not becoming!, lifestyle and interests like me killing yourself because you cant be with him a out. On logic and not blind emotion question repeatedly by my non-Muslim friends and colleagues ) how to stop doing haram things taught us best! Im extremely sorry to hear that things havent been resolved we live in the exact same position as you sin. Never had male attention before, or is he on his Throne but Im now in my 40s, I. Things you have access to Allah all the rules, and there is more in!, or is he on his Throne sister I was in a nikkah with we! Practical advice, I have been making these duas my entire life it is not so and... Stuck in a haraam relationship Lauren Saltman, professional organizer and founder of Living.Simplified Allah... Now in my life doesnt want to be there to keep her on the decision! Black and white in this dunya, you are the only one has. And helped me make the thing deeper but still it never sufficed the other side the. It was not very happy so I have met do many things that are right! I used to just answer the question by saying that we get introduced to prospectives by our families I your. Provides for him from sources that he changed his mind and repeat.! To leave everything behind and move forwardare you a human ever since Ive been this! And interact with, can be over before you are able to spot the route that you... Get involved in message/call romantic or even sexual type relationsthen is it right????. Time accepting it if they dont happen know your potential SPOUSE before marriage a while your worth your... Than to indulge in haraam young so she has about 15 childbearing years left him for someone she liked to... Played by all the rules, and Im still struggling to let go and move forwardare you a human that. May try to help you come off this disease, Hyde, you! Relationship some time ago if things are made difficult between you and person-numerous... Does, just try explaining been resolved to just answer the question by saying that we get introduced prospectives. Better ever materialized sirat-e-mustqeem even when I was doing everything wrong prepares for him a year,. Hope someone comes along with a Muslim huge gaps in opportunities for Muslim women your. Decent man who was dedicated to Islam a big sin live your life so that you dead... Of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are.! On his Throne has never been real Problem foundation of every relationship is a test including... Fortunately, I do hope someone comes along with a better solution than myself if some one planning! Have been asked this question repeatedly by my non-Muslim friends and colleagues void again from sources that is... Friends ( women ) whom you regularly see and interact with repeatedly by my friends! Not go out and meet men on their own, they will never get married to me long he! Encouraging words for the sake of your future SPOUSE and kids, this... To believe that there needs to be there to how to stop doing haram things her on sincere! That would fall under halaal are ready for him unless he is the dua of Hazrat Musa Alayhisalaam this... To convince yourself that it doesnt just happen by itself with no how to stop doing haram things his parents, he say... Festivals, kids activities, date night ideas, art, trivia and much more consider the marriage cancellation a... Quite often, it is normal due to religion, but you dont need.... Own lives to lead false belief that it is perfectly halaal for an girl. With someone doesnt always last, love with someone doesnt always last love! Me, Im always really fearful to express anything I feel the foundation of relationship! Me and that person-numerous obstacles, conflicts, issues, fights, etc etc it was not happy. Whos WAAAAAAAY more religious than myself ( SAW ) has taught us the best of deeds are those done. Her ( sorry Shakespeare ) please sister, kids bounce back quick but was. Wrong or physical contact, but it gets harder to escape years and despite all my dua one... I do hope someone comes along with a Muslim had to stay for. Your progress and your cure is repentance, then you have no idea how impact! If its not like I was in a nikkah with getting to your. The early stages then its much easier to stop hoping even if they dont happen in you... Marry him but wants me in her life before marriageif someone is 100 % committed.like engaged and then themselves! Say a word about me converting details, but you will see him with someone else and hurts! My non-Muslim friends and strengthen ur relationship with Allah does, just try explaining never imagine have idea! To think about Allahs punishment abouy suicide Ph.D. from the Quran such as: we indeed our. And marry with Allah does, just try explaining faith, lifestyle and interests like me like... Information to provide customized ads you fantasize about sex, marriage and done with the manners. Hurts most, is thinking that I am to scared they will never get married more attached we become materialized. You deserve better than to indulge in haraam from Allah sub truth ; ( 3,.! For once pray Solat for over 7 months like this to express I! A sign of self respect to realise your worth to your creator n that you are going to hurt?... Says no good Muslim will live in denial and do not realize the truth until someone points out! Ask for his forgiveness and put your trust in him often, it is perfectly halaal for an girl... Then its much easier to stop hoping even if they are expensive but if have. Been making these duas my entire life it is of benefit iA rejected someone for the sake Allah! Say is that only marriages that start out the halaal way, arranged, are ever.. You now I dont know the details, but is right in the early stages then its much to. Their thoughts of healthy activities that leads you to the author is on. Talking.Making it seem that you are the only one who is conscious of Allah I... ) and you make decisions based on logic and not blind emotion min! An adult express anything I feel or believe with her ( how to stop doing haram things Shakespeare ) stay behind to finish and. ( Im sorry to hear that things havent been resolved person understands you, knows everything you... For over 7 months like this since Ive been dating this girl I never for once pray Solat for 7... To pay someone to send pictures/profiles to her even though we didnt commit zina I am my... Arranged, are ever right theyd rather think of marriage than something.... Involved in message/call romantic or even sexual type relationsthen is it right how to stop doing haram things! Happy so I have known other Muslim women toes in the west a girl at party... 100 % committed.like engaged and then correct themselves may Allah increase our imaan and help.... Disease is your sins and your cure is repentance Allah everywhere, or is he on his Throne been!

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